Car reviews (?) Part 1

As I have mentioned before Top Gear is one of my favorite shows on TV. And I can't imagine any guy in the world who wouldn't want Jeremy Clarkson's job! I was reading somewhere how he got started of in this line of automotive journalism (or whatever its called). Apparently he tested a car when he was in journalism school and it went from there. I was just watching an interview where he quite directly admits as to not having really aimed to be what he is today. Well then, being a anthropology student who until a couple years ago used to wonder that how come a car with a 2 liter displacement doesn't use 2 liters of gas with every cycle, I am going to be as bold as to think that I can speak about some cars that I have driven. I mean, 'how hard can it be?' Until recently pretty much the only car I ever drove was my first car, a 14 year old Honda Accord. But when circumstances took that car to the scrapyard earlier this year, I had the opportunity to drive various cars from various sources. I'll admit that its not much more than half a dozen cars, but that means I can just put some them together in a short blog post.

So here goes, starting with my Honda Accord.
'97 Honda Accord LX: Now I'll admit I'll be heavily biased to this car since it was my first car. But judging by the number of same generation Accords I see running around everyday, I can assume its not just me. This cars a trooper. As with most if not all Japanese cars, little ever goes wrong with this one. You keep up regular oil changes and servicing, and the car will keep going. You want to take an impromptu trip to Las Vegas at 8pm, It'll take you there in about 35$ of gas. That's a good 300+ miles in 10 gallons. Now there may be cars with better gas economy, But then consider that the Accord has a 2.2 L engine, unlike a Prius which has a 1.3L one connected to half a ton of batteries and a ceiling fan motor that takes you around at about 20miles an hour on its own. Plus the Accord was spacious, very comfortable and very well equipped for its time and price range. The console is simple and straightforward. All buttons and levers are at the right places. Brilliant brilliant car. It'll be sorely missed.

Always the best, until I get a new one :)

2011 Ford Focus: I had driven this car a little back in 2009, back when I used to be completely clueless about how cars work, and I had kept my doubts back due to that. But when after 3 years I drove 2 different Ford Focuses and felt exactly the same way I knew that it wasn't me. If I had to describe the Ford Focus in one word, it would have to be "confused". The car is a everyday driving car. Agreed its been modified and turbocharged for Ken Block to use. But because they did that, they felt they need to make a road car that has the gear ratios and gear changes like the rally car. The car won't change up until it reaches about 5000 revs. Now of course in motor sport this could be brilliant, but this is a road car. It whines to 4000 revs in first when you are setting off at a green light. Now you might say that I can control it if I know how to use a throttle pedal. Ok. Then check this out. I was driving along at around 35mph. I did not move my foot by a millimeter, but suddenly the car is revving to 5000. For no apparent reason. You can either press it down a little and get no response from the engine or press down about half an inch more and have the engine blasting to ridiculous revs. Its like there's a little troll sitting between the pedal and the engine instead of an ECU. If you want to show off, this car tries it for you. But then you might have someone with a Camaro pull up next to you and his idling will drown out your pedal to the floor noise. If you want to feel like you are riding a unstable bull while driving to the store at 40 mph, this car will be perfect for you. But if you want a car which behaves normally look elsewhere.

Just because you roar, it doesn't make you a lion!

Low price + Craigslist = Hilarity

     As some of my friends might know, I had an accident a couple months ago which resulted in a shit-storm in my life. Well that might be an exaggeration, but still it was hard. After having a reliable Honda to haul my lazy butt around anywhere and anytime for 3 years, life in the US for me was seen only in the context of a car. Ergo with that gone I can't think straight. Phoenix is a massive city and as reliable as the public transport system is the sheer distance between things results in about an hour of travel even to nearby places if you use the bus. Cars and trucks are everywhere here and life without them is difficult. Still I could have lived with that. Except that the insurance claim is still open and could possibly go on for several months. Now I don't have to do anything here, except that I still have to keep paying insurance on a car I no longer own. So I have tentatively decided to buy a cheap (and nasty) car. Kind of a horse for a horseshoe sort of deal going on here.
     My friend has had an interesting history with craigslist. He first got a pretty expensive Beemer. That ran for about a year. Alright bad luck there. Now this friend loves his Deutsche Autos. Next he got a Merc 190E, 1989 I believe, for an incredible 1800$. That ran for about a week before taking up permanent residence in a repair shop. But he didnt give up. He got another 190E this time a '93, for 1400$ which is surprisingly still running albeit a constant check engine light.
     So I figured maybe craigslist should be given a shot. After all, there's so few expectations I have this time. I just need a car that will run for about a year and which has an A/C and a decently working engine. I have already spent hours in the past browsing craigslist for motorcycles. I know how entertaining it can be. And today morning I found no lack in its humorous potentials. There are cars for 500$!! Except that they are missing a few bits. Like a roof. And a hood. Or rear windshield. Or a motor. Or...funnily enough, an ENGINE! Another hilarious instance is claims that, "the car ran fine when it was parked...wait for it...3 YEARS AGO!!" So this guy parks his car and goes about his life and suddenly he remembers, "wait a minute...I have a car here I could sell to some noob on craigslist!" Maybe he's hoping to get some extra cash for some meth or crack.
     Some people will be frank enough to admit that they have no idea why the car doesn't work. Sometimes there will be no title. I found this guy who was selling a car which was in impound. So you were supposed to pay impound fees AND pay him. Shit, I should have done that with my Accord. Here's how the ad would look like:
"Slightly smashed car for sale. Very reliable. May have a smashed coolant tank. Otherwise runs fine. This car is in a tow company's yard. I will assist you in stealing it since they wont release it to anyone. Asking 1000$ OBO.
PS: I will buy the wire cutters to get through the fence and will carry a few raw steaks for any guard dogs that might be present."

Oh wait, just found this one! I can only imagine the poor bastard who buys this:
1993 Geo Metro
runs fine great on gas. Only problems: Drivers door does not open from inside.
Rear driver side door does not open from outside.

Can you imagine how you'll exit this car. The rear passenger will step out and open the door for the driver! Now that I think could be called chauffeur service on opposite day!

     Also since this is Arizona, and its summer now. People love emphasizing a good A/C. Some will put it in the title itself; eg. "Nissan Maxima COLD AIR!!!". Like its the freaking trim level above LX and EX or something. You'll see all sorts of adjectives for it. Ice Cold, freezing cold, super cold. I even saw this Pontiac which claimed to be "supercharged with cold air"! Wow so not only will you be cool, your engine will be pumped with cold air from the supercharger. Beat that Vin Diesel! I bet your Dodge Charger can't do that!

     Buying used cars is almost like a blackjack game. You never know what the dealer is hiding and you can only hope to get your cards higher than him. But you'll never know until you place your bets. Fortunately Craigslist is like a nice Vegas casino which uses unintentional humor instead of free alcohol to numb you to the risk you are taking!