iPhone-y 'jokes' [part 1]

Since the iPhone became the standard issue phone for dumbasses the world over (excluding all people I know personally and have iPhones, come on guys you know I don't mean it for you :P), this new meme is all over Facebook. Its that annoying and often extremely unfunny text conversation between two people. Apparently it's just a website where you can type in what ever BS comes into your brain and display it as a conversation which is supposed to be funny. Having never used an iPhone (I do own a 2nd generation iPod Touch which I use almost exclusively for music), here's a list of things (in no particular order) I understand happen automatically by no fault of yours when you have an iPhone:

1) You are bound to send texts to the wrong person (often very conveniently a parent) instead of a partner (girlfriend or boyfriend) and have no way of knowing your mistake until your 'secrets' have been exposed and you have been 'grounded'.
Exhibit A: http://crazyhyena.com/epic-busted-son-image_en
           B: http://phonelaughs.com/171/proof-that-girls-play-
           C:http://phonelaughs.com/215/how-to-tell-if-someone-is-cheating-on-you/
2) Autocorrect changes words you type into something completely unrelated and almost always something highly inappropriate.
Exhibit A: http://www.larrysfunnybone.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/clip_image0022.jpg
           B: http://crazyhyena.com/keep-doctor-awey-funny-text-message_en

3) People with iPhones often text important things instead of, say, calling a person or actually meeting the person. Texting about something that will require you to meet anyways also is necessary. This I assume is done to keep a record of everything you talk about with everybody.
Exhibit A: http://weknowmemes.com/2012/07/dad-can-i-have-money-for-some-coke/
why would you text your dad asking for $1.35?
Exhibit B: http://luulz.blogspot.com/2012/06/mom-do-you-have-any-gum.html
To be continued....

Fanaticism and Communism

     I just read on CNN that Malala, the little girl who was shot in the head by Taliban is conscious and able to communicate. In your face, Taliban, you fucking assholes. This just shows that you can't silence the voice of reason. I wish Malala a speedy recovery and hope she can continue to stand up to those misogynist bastards.


     This reminds me of the conversation I was having with my roommate the other night over a couple drinks. When I switched majors to Anthropology, I studied many things about the origins of man and also origins of human and animal behavior. Right now I am taking this class called "Great Adaptations" which is essentially like taking Discovery Channel, National Geographic and BBC Earth for 3 credit hours. Animal behavior has fascinates me but also makes me realize how primitive human behavior still is. After a few million years of evolution when we went from living in caves to building skyscrapers and from gathering wild berries to tailoring plants to precisely suit our needs, some things about us still remain extremely animalistic.

     I was discussing with my roommate how people can find a way to discriminate among each other no matter how even the playing field may appear to be. The obvious examples that come to mind are racism, caste discrimination, etc. But then even without color differences, there are still tensions and discrimination. Consider WWII. It was almost exclusively a white man's war. There was prejudice involved but then again, the Nazis still saw themselves as "more white that others". It reminded me of George Orwell's brilliant analogy of "all animals are equal but some are more equal than others".

     And that brought the conversation to communism. One of my favorite topics *grin*. I was intrigued by communism when I was something like 12 or 13. In my teen mind, the idea that the whole society being seen as equal was a brilliant idea. Given the political situation in India, where each state has its own very distinct culture since thousands of years, it seemed like a perfect cure (again this was to my naive teen mind). I maintained a view that communism was a brilliant idea and even used to declare my political views as very left liberal. I didn't really give it much thought for a few years. I used to think America is needlessly hating on commies (I still maintain that view partly but the perspective has changed).

     Last semester I took a Soviet history class and I realized how the 'vision' had changed and warped from Lenin to Stalin. I also thought about human behavior and the reason communism doesn't work. Although some policies of socialism can do wonders, most people in America don't know why exactly they hate communism. They don't know the first thing about it and just know that it is somehow the 'evilest' man has ever conceived of.

     I think the shortest way to give the answer to why communism doesn't work is to write about this article i read a few years ago. It was by a scientist who studied animal behavior and related that to political ideas or something like that (mind you it has been a few years since I read that). Anyways, he made the analogy that ants and bees are very clearly in a strict communist society. Each type of ant/bee has a particular function. And they survive great with that system. But unfortunately humans have aspirations and often frivolous needs. They have greed and hatred and grudges and prejudices. And that's where communism falls completely apart.

Miss/Mr. Universe?

This should be my shortest post so far, but I just had to write about this. I just read on CNN that the Miss Universe pageant will no longer ban transsexual competitors.
http://www.cnn.com/2012/04/10/showbiz/miss-universe-transgender/index.
Hey I am all for women's  rights and all but then again this is not a woman is 'it'? 'Its' a plastic surgery freak. Can you imagine that the supposedly most beautiful woman in the world is not actually a woman? But leaving the 'reassignment' part aside, 'its' not that different from the other competitors is 'it'? All other competitors are surgically and cosmetically enhanced too.

This brings me to the topic of transgender. I am generally liberal in my views and support most freaks and geeks (like gay people, I mean whatever makes you happy right?) but this is something I can't stand. Also I should say that don't have problems with gay people as long as they aren't all in your face about it. My friend was once telling me how a girl (who was lesbian) compared the discrimination against gay people to the discrimination faced by blacks in the recent past. This is beyond in your face. That is an outright wrong comparison. But then again I am assuming not all gay and transsexual people are like that.

What I have a problem is that when gay or transsexual people want everyone to just overlook the fact that they are different. Its like wanting people not to notice that Obama is black. I mean you see it right in front of you. You can't not see it. I am straight, I am going to be naturally creeped out if I feel a guy who is gay is hitting on me or even being 'overly gay' around me. I am sorry gay people, I can't help it. And I am not just saying this.

There is this incident that happened at the cue club bar I go to almost every weekend (FYI, I love playing pool). I was with my friend and we were minding out own business playing some good games. Then some 'girls' started playing on the table next to us. Which is fine because they were playing and keeping to their own. Still I couldn't help noticing that their Adam's apples were bigger than mine and their voices were not unlike Howlin' Wolf (i.e deep and raspy). Nevertheless, we ignored them until they stopped playing and started sitting on the pool table and laughing deeply and loudly. Now I don't want to go into more detail but I can tell you their behavior was enough to start thinking about ending my favorite game quickly and get the hell out. See now this is what I am talking about. Fine you used to be guys and now your 'girls', but can't you just behave like other girls do. Also unlike in the case real girls, no one wants to see up your skirt, so don't raise your legs up in public places.
How can you be expected to be seen as normal if you behave in a loud and brash manner? If you make a spectacle of yourself and be generally unpleasant, people are not going to like it even if you are normal. You want society to accept you? Then try to behave like normal people do and keep your sexuality in the bedroom.

About 2 decades of Nostalgia

     First off this post isn't about cars as I plan to make most of my posts from now on. This is just a generic reminiscence of the years past. I just turned 22 this last Sunday. I was telling someone how I never thought beyond 21 when I was a kid. In fact even when I was 21, I never thought, ok 22 is coming up. Since 21 is a landmark year when u are officially an adult, if you know what I mean. When society decides you have enough sense to afford to lose a bit of it with alcohol, that's something right? Not that most people wait until then (I didn't either, for that matter). The reason I got a bit nostalgic today because I was listening to some music from my early teen years. Now some will say thats not too long ago. It isn't but even during that time, things have changed. I was listening to some electronic music that all people seem to be listening to these days, aka dubstep. 

     Now when it comes to music, my iPod playlist dwells quite a bit in the 70s and 80s. It ranges from old AC/DC to Iron Maiden to Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd, and then goes on to Metallica and Megadeth (yes both are good but if pressed I would now go for Megadeth). But then again, its not all music from before I was born. There's some relatively modern heavy metal, bands which came about in the late 90s and early 2000s. There's Opeth, Children of Bodom, among others and most recently a Swiss band called Eluveitie. But this is all well and good when I am at home or if my iPod is pumping this old school music down my ears. But when I go to clubs or talk to people, I notice that I am on an entirely different page. Despite the occasional freak, with ear studs that look like he had an accident with the nail gun and neck tattoos, burps out the words, "Kewl shirt, maaaan." pointing at my Children of Bodom shirt, for the most part there's no common point between my music and what's well known. This dubstep stuff seems to have been around since almost a decade. But these days everyone is listening to it. So I thought I would give it a listen. Other than the fact that all songs sound the same, which sounds like a computer having a seizure, its not too bad. Its actually quite catchy I admit.

     But eventually I went back to rock and metal during my Youtube surfing. Then I found this old song by the Rasmus, a band I liked when I was 13. That's almost a decade ago. And that's what made me nostalgic. The comments underneath were almost as if I had made them. Most people were apparently around my age and listening to it for old time's sake. One comment was saying how this song is older than Youtube itself and said how Youtube came about in 2005. I couldn't believe it. I used to be under the impression that the most popular websites on the internet today have been around at least since the mid 90s. But I Wiki'd the launch dates of Facebook, Orkut, Youtube and then Wikipedia itself. All these things came around when I was around 12 or 14. Now I know why old people find computers so incredibly undecipherable. Most of the stuff everyone uses today hasn't been around long. And when you have been around so much longer than it has you feel old. And that's the reason, at 22, today I am reminiscing like an 80 year old.

One Way

     The couple posts I put in yesterday about cars, I quite enjoyed writing. I am now thinking of turning the blog into a automotive discussion blog. I have been advised often that a blog cannot be general. It has to have a direction. It has to be about something. Well the thing that has interested me most in recent years is cars. So why not write specifically about them?
     I think since I don't have anything particular to discuss today, let me write about my standpoints on certain companies. As I mentioned in the last two posts, I am definitely a Japanese car fan. Today pretty much three 'nationalities' of cars exist. American, German and Japanese. Yes there's car companies from Italy, Britain, France, Korea (South, of course, the North has bigger problems to worry about), India, etc. You might be surprised that I didnt mention Italy as one of the main nationalities of cars. But lets be frank, how many Ferraris do you see running around? How many Paganis, Alfa Romeos or Fiats do you see? Well the last ones a weak example. Fiats are in fact averagely common. But when you compare it to the popularity of Japanese or German cars, it pales. Another thing is that the Germans are taking over everything. Volkswagen own dozens of the brands that were originally from other countries. You might know that Audi own Lamborghini now (and VW own Audi in turn). I mean one of the original Italian super car brand is now German. Same thing with British cars. All of the best known British cars, with the exception of Aston Martin, are owned by other countries. Rolls Royce, Bentley, Rover and Jaguar are all bought out by foreign companies. The last two, I am quite proud to say, are owned by an Indian company (Tata).
     So the three nationalities of cars are exactly as different as each of the nations that make them. American cars are often thirsty, extremely powerful, enormous in size but crude, not very well engineered, and in general simplistic when it comes to build and performance. This is fine in America where many cities have straight big roads. But not elsewhere. German cars are generally luxurious, refined, expensive and carry a certain aristocratic image with them. Japanese cars are quite cheap, economical, light and small. You get a lot of bang for your buck. They are built with incredible attention to (engine) detail, reliable and overall easy to own.
     Jeremy Clarkson describes the American (muscle) car as similar to a killer whale, "striking to look at but you wouldn't want to own one." German cars make you look twice and fill you with awe and amazement. But that comes at a price. And often when you look at a BMW or a Merc, you don't really get actual visible things for the money you pay. You are paying about a quarter of the money for feeling elite and for the satisfaction of driving something refined. But then when something goes wrong, your wallets going to get much lighter. Also if you want to sell it off after a few years you are going to get much much lesser than what you spent. Japanese cars are quite unassuming. But you get a lot for your money. They'll be surprisingly comfortable, at least decently reliable, and with plenty of power for the roads you'll generally drive on. They'll be light on your pocket too.
     That being said, there are several American and German cars I absolutely adore. I smile and nod when I see a classic muscle car, because it is indeed a thing of menacing beauty. I turn and look at a Mercedes or a BMW and feel awed at it refinement and class. But if I see a classic Honda Civic or a Nissan Z, I just feel happy. Its something thats actually within anyone's reach and it can potentially deliver lots of adrenaline surges while not causing you to go bankrupt or breaking down after a few wheelspins.

Car Reviews (?) Part 2

     The reason I divided this into two parts is that people told me that long posts are tiring to read. Thats funny because I can't wait to write more! But thats okay, before you read this part, go have a glass of water or something. GO, NOW!
     Alright now that you're back, let me continue whining:
2011 Mazda 3: This was the first Zipcar I drove when I got my membership. Generally, I don't think of Mazda as one of the Jap Giants; Honda, Toyota and Nissan. Mazda's experiments with the Wankel engine and their happy and cute styling in the recent years, don't make them seem a formidable sporty company. But that being said, Toyota and Honda have almost completely backed out of the sporty everyday car market in my opinion. But that's a rant for another time. Remind me to tell you why. The Mazda 3, like almost all other Mazdas look like a little puppy dog which makes girls go "awww" or whatever. The gentle curves of its wheel arches and smiling front grill give it a 'gay and friendly look'. But under that hood hides a 2.5L 4 cylinder engine. That may not sound like much but team that with a semi auto transmission and you can make this puppy morph into a Rottweiler. That being said, unlike the Ford Focus, the Mazda won't be overly eager to flex its muscles by revving unnecessarily. A girl, charmed about its looks, can drive it to the store or salon or wherever it is that girls drive to usually, without worrying about what happens if you shift the gear lever into manual. Now I would be much more specific about how fast this car can go if I had access to a track. But I did notice how quickly I can get off from a Stop sign if I want to. The car will be at 60 mph without you really trying. and if your windows are up you will have to look at the speedometer to realize that. It handles like a champ too. So do I have a complaint about the Mazda? It would have to be the styling. Mazda needs to decide. Sporty or cute? It can go down the Toyota path and get rid of all their excellent sports cars and cater to hippies by bringing out a overrated hybrid, or it can use the last few drops of petroleum left on the planet to raise some hair and race some hearts!

A happy little puppy that can deliver quite a bite!

2011 Nissan Sentra: This was the car I drove most recently and boy I was not expecting what I got. As a company, I think of Nissan as the last remaining Japanese car company who can take on German and American cars. It keeps making the Z bigger and bigger. While Honda and Toyota were selling out disgracefully and discontinuing the NSX and the Supra respectively, Nissan brought out a car that would shake the world. The GT-R. Godzilla. Easily the greatest car of recent times. Thats not just me saying it; Google and you'll know. So you can imagine what I was expecting when I got behind the wheel of the Sentra. Of course I knew that this wasn't a Z or a GT-R. I also knew that this costs about half of that of a Z and about 1/6th of that of a GT-R. But as soon as I got in, all the cheap plastic knobs and vents jumped at me. I can safely say that a 14 year older Honda had better craftsmanship than this almost brand new car. The air vents were almost nonadjustable. The stereo display looked like a bedside alarm clock (although this could be Zipcar being cheap). The gear lever looked like it came from an over sized toy car. All this I could have lived with. After all Nissan made a car which accelerates faster than a Lamborghini from 0-60, and costs less than a third of the price of a Lambo. But this one time I turned right on red (as Clarkson says, America's only contribution to the civilized world), and a car was coming down behind me. He wasn't very close but I would hate to make him slow down. What I do at this point step hard on the gas which makes an automatic transmission downshift and give you a burst of acceleration. But nope. Nothing. The Nissan just groaned on at the 20mph accelerating at about 1mph a minute. The guy behind me came right up to my rear bumper expecting I would move faster soon. But nothing so he just changed lanes and overtook me probably thinking I was an old lady. Okay so maybe the Nissan doesn't have that much a sensitive throttle response. But then the gaps between gears are also massive. As James May once spoke of an old BMW Z4 he drove in the middle east, "the gaps between the gears are so big, I could fit an entire gearbox in them." It literally took 4 seconds to change from 2nd to 3rd at 4000 revs. "Change already!", I snapped and my roommate in the passenger seat who was changing the radio stations, looked at me like I was bipolar. "Not you, man, the car!", I explained. I have to say I was thoroughly disappointed. I have never waited so eagerly to stop driving a car as I did with this one!

I would rather have an auto rickshaw. well maybe not/

Car reviews (?) Part 1

As I have mentioned before Top Gear is one of my favorite shows on TV. And I can't imagine any guy in the world who wouldn't want Jeremy Clarkson's job! I was reading somewhere how he got started of in this line of automotive journalism (or whatever its called). Apparently he tested a car when he was in journalism school and it went from there. I was just watching an interview where he quite directly admits as to not having really aimed to be what he is today. Well then, being a anthropology student who until a couple years ago used to wonder that how come a car with a 2 liter displacement doesn't use 2 liters of gas with every cycle, I am going to be as bold as to think that I can speak about some cars that I have driven. I mean, 'how hard can it be?' Until recently pretty much the only car I ever drove was my first car, a 14 year old Honda Accord. But when circumstances took that car to the scrapyard earlier this year, I had the opportunity to drive various cars from various sources. I'll admit that its not much more than half a dozen cars, but that means I can just put some them together in a short blog post.

So here goes, starting with my Honda Accord.
'97 Honda Accord LX: Now I'll admit I'll be heavily biased to this car since it was my first car. But judging by the number of same generation Accords I see running around everyday, I can assume its not just me. This cars a trooper. As with most if not all Japanese cars, little ever goes wrong with this one. You keep up regular oil changes and servicing, and the car will keep going. You want to take an impromptu trip to Las Vegas at 8pm, It'll take you there in about 35$ of gas. That's a good 300+ miles in 10 gallons. Now there may be cars with better gas economy, But then consider that the Accord has a 2.2 L engine, unlike a Prius which has a 1.3L one connected to half a ton of batteries and a ceiling fan motor that takes you around at about 20miles an hour on its own. Plus the Accord was spacious, very comfortable and very well equipped for its time and price range. The console is simple and straightforward. All buttons and levers are at the right places. Brilliant brilliant car. It'll be sorely missed.

Always the best, until I get a new one :)

2011 Ford Focus: I had driven this car a little back in 2009, back when I used to be completely clueless about how cars work, and I had kept my doubts back due to that. But when after 3 years I drove 2 different Ford Focuses and felt exactly the same way I knew that it wasn't me. If I had to describe the Ford Focus in one word, it would have to be "confused". The car is a everyday driving car. Agreed its been modified and turbocharged for Ken Block to use. But because they did that, they felt they need to make a road car that has the gear ratios and gear changes like the rally car. The car won't change up until it reaches about 5000 revs. Now of course in motor sport this could be brilliant, but this is a road car. It whines to 4000 revs in first when you are setting off at a green light. Now you might say that I can control it if I know how to use a throttle pedal. Ok. Then check this out. I was driving along at around 35mph. I did not move my foot by a millimeter, but suddenly the car is revving to 5000. For no apparent reason. You can either press it down a little and get no response from the engine or press down about half an inch more and have the engine blasting to ridiculous revs. Its like there's a little troll sitting between the pedal and the engine instead of an ECU. If you want to show off, this car tries it for you. But then you might have someone with a Camaro pull up next to you and his idling will drown out your pedal to the floor noise. If you want to feel like you are riding a unstable bull while driving to the store at 40 mph, this car will be perfect for you. But if you want a car which behaves normally look elsewhere.

Just because you roar, it doesn't make you a lion!

Lazy Arizona Summers

     I love Arizona. Despite most people giving me a surprised look when I say this, I have a good explanation for this. Firstly, I grew up in Pune. Now if you have taken any geography in school you might know what a rain-shadow region is. Both Pune and Arizona have a mountain region between them and the sea. These block the rain clouds for the most part. Except in the case of Arizona, these the much taller Sierra Nevada Mountains. This generates a rain shadow in Nevada mostly but also in Arizona to some extent. Also Phoenix itself is in a valley with plenty of mountains in Arizona. The end result is a very dry climate like Pune, except much drier. So climate wise its something I have grown up in, although here I have become used to having air-conditioning. Secondly, snow sounds like fun to most people from India, because of the 'grass is greener on the other side' principle. But snow brings with it a set of problems of its own. You don't have to worry about that in Phoenix. But what about middle grounds? Like California, Oregon, etc. Where it doesn't snow but is still cool throughout the year? Yes, I admit I love California's climate and natural beauty. But so do millions of other people. The result is that its the state with the most people, in the US. Coming from India that's the last thing I want. Also a higher population means a higher cost of living. That was one of the reasons I enrolled in Arizona State University. When I came here four years ago I had no idea what Arizona was like. The only reason I chose this place was because my aunt told me it was the most affordable yet accessible alternative compared to my other admits which were Philadelphia (very expensive) and Idaho (which I only know because they grow potatoes). So the three options I had were literally a spectrum of potential lifestyle. Idaho is probably pretty rural not to mention I wasn't sure how good the university was. Philly was the other end; too urban. Phoenix is a major city yet its people are not really what you would call metropolitan. I can live a few hours from Los Angeles and Las Vegas, yet not pay through the nose to live there. The roads are wide and empty. Not to mention Arizona has some amazing desert beauty. There's probably not too many places in the world where every sunset is worth a photo!

     But then again, of course no place can be perfect. I am used to blazing afternoons in Pune, but Arizona summers are a different story altogether. Let me put it this way, from May to August, if you step out of the house anytime between 10.30am and 5.30pm, you will have the pleasure of being torched alive. I have literally returned a shade darker after going out for an hour if I don't have sunscreen. Its not just hot, it is the kind of hot that sucks out the moisture from you and leaves you like that guy eaten by scarabs from the Mummy. The wind is like having a furnace exhaust in your face. There's dust storms too. Four out of twelve months it will be hell unless you have a car; which I don't this summer. However after August, it will get increasingly pleasant and from November to about March every other day is beautiful enough to make you wanna go for a walk or bike ride.

     That being said, there's few places in the world where you can have the solitude that you get in Arizona. Drive an hour or so in the right direction and you can find yourself being the only person for miles surrounded by a vast desert with a tumbleweeds, giant saguaros and maybe a few rabbits. You're in the Wild West!

Low price + Craigslist = Hilarity

     As some of my friends might know, I had an accident a couple months ago which resulted in a shit-storm in my life. Well that might be an exaggeration, but still it was hard. After having a reliable Honda to haul my lazy butt around anywhere and anytime for 3 years, life in the US for me was seen only in the context of a car. Ergo with that gone I can't think straight. Phoenix is a massive city and as reliable as the public transport system is the sheer distance between things results in about an hour of travel even to nearby places if you use the bus. Cars and trucks are everywhere here and life without them is difficult. Still I could have lived with that. Except that the insurance claim is still open and could possibly go on for several months. Now I don't have to do anything here, except that I still have to keep paying insurance on a car I no longer own. So I have tentatively decided to buy a cheap (and nasty) car. Kind of a horse for a horseshoe sort of deal going on here.
     My friend has had an interesting history with craigslist. He first got a pretty expensive Beemer. That ran for about a year. Alright bad luck there. Now this friend loves his Deutsche Autos. Next he got a Merc 190E, 1989 I believe, for an incredible 1800$. That ran for about a week before taking up permanent residence in a repair shop. But he didnt give up. He got another 190E this time a '93, for 1400$ which is surprisingly still running albeit a constant check engine light.
     So I figured maybe craigslist should be given a shot. After all, there's so few expectations I have this time. I just need a car that will run for about a year and which has an A/C and a decently working engine. I have already spent hours in the past browsing craigslist for motorcycles. I know how entertaining it can be. And today morning I found no lack in its humorous potentials. There are cars for 500$!! Except that they are missing a few bits. Like a roof. And a hood. Or rear windshield. Or a motor. Or...funnily enough, an ENGINE! Another hilarious instance is claims that, "the car ran fine when it was parked...wait for it...3 YEARS AGO!!" So this guy parks his car and goes about his life and suddenly he remembers, "wait a minute...I have a car here I could sell to some noob on craigslist!" Maybe he's hoping to get some extra cash for some meth or crack.
     Some people will be frank enough to admit that they have no idea why the car doesn't work. Sometimes there will be no title. I found this guy who was selling a car which was in impound. So you were supposed to pay impound fees AND pay him. Shit, I should have done that with my Accord. Here's how the ad would look like:
"Slightly smashed car for sale. Very reliable. May have a smashed coolant tank. Otherwise runs fine. This car is in a tow company's yard. I will assist you in stealing it since they wont release it to anyone. Asking 1000$ OBO.
PS: I will buy the wire cutters to get through the fence and will carry a few raw steaks for any guard dogs that might be present."

Oh wait, just found this one! I can only imagine the poor bastard who buys this:
1993 Geo Metro
runs fine great on gas. Only problems: Drivers door does not open from inside.
Rear driver side door does not open from outside.

Can you imagine how you'll exit this car. The rear passenger will step out and open the door for the driver! Now that I think could be called chauffeur service on opposite day!

     Also since this is Arizona, and its summer now. People love emphasizing a good A/C. Some will put it in the title itself; eg. "Nissan Maxima COLD AIR!!!". Like its the freaking trim level above LX and EX or something. You'll see all sorts of adjectives for it. Ice Cold, freezing cold, super cold. I even saw this Pontiac which claimed to be "supercharged with cold air"! Wow so not only will you be cool, your engine will be pumped with cold air from the supercharger. Beat that Vin Diesel! I bet your Dodge Charger can't do that!

     Buying used cars is almost like a blackjack game. You never know what the dealer is hiding and you can only hope to get your cards higher than him. But you'll never know until you place your bets. Fortunately Craigslist is like a nice Vegas casino which uses unintentional humor instead of free alcohol to numb you to the risk you are taking!

What's wrong with you American kids?

     I was just surfing the internets just now and I came across this show called "16 and Pregnant" (*blaargh*). I remembered this 18 year old kid I used to work with last year at Subway (the sandwich shop). He seemed like a really typical high school kid. He was easygoing and seemed fairly intelligent. But I don't know if I can say that now. Recently, about a couple months ago, I saw on facetube that he had posted a status update saying, "trying to be a super husband and super dad." or something in that vein. For a second there I thought it was a mistaken identity on my part. Not that I have too many super dads and husbands in my friends list, but there had to be some mistake. This was that simple, wannabe gangsta kid who used to talk to me about my tattoo and went with me to see a movie once. I generally assume that if you agree to hang out with another guy on a weekend, you are like me; aka, lonely and not very social. I found it very hard to believe this kid had gotten married and had had a kid already (not necessarily in that order).

     My only 'permanent' American friend, Stelton, and I have discussions about various American issues and generally he gets very entertained by my extreme (and funny) views on most things. He and I have agreed on this issue that teen pregnancy and kids having kids in America is partially responsible for the dismal education levels and the unusual behavior of kids here compared to kids in other countries. This kid who got a kid, is the typical example of what high school students here do. And in my opinion, shows like "16 and pregnant" help them think its normal. I haven't seen the show and I would rather have my brains removed through my nose before I am made to watch it. But the title is quite self-explanatory isn't it?
   
     Now I will admit, I don't know how it is to have a girlfriend in high school; in fact, I don't really know how it is to have a girlfriend in any point in your life (by which I mean I have never had one). For one, I am not really good with any people for that matter, let alone girls. But that aside. It doesn't take a leap of imagination for me to put myself in that situation. I am almost 22 now. And the thought of having a kid even at this age is repulsive. I have no intention or inclination of starting a family for at least the better part of the next decade! When I was 16, I wanted to go out, hang out with friends, watch movies and drink the minuscule amounts of alcohol that we could stand at that age. And that's what teenage is about. Its not all legal and acceptable. But that's pretty normal. This, right here, is ridiculous! You can barely read and write or blow your nose without your parents help (paraphrasing my dad here) and you want to start a family? In fact, at 22, I know that I am highly highly ineligible to raise a child. And worse, you are letting a child grow up in an environment where his parents haven't even completed high school! This results in a generation of young people who grow up and elect George Bush twice!

     Now, I only want to talk about the social aspect of this. I have strong opinions (when do I not have strong opinions?) about the religious and political aspect of it too, but I don't want to discuss politics here (Ron Paul 2012! No I am just kidding I don't like any current or former candidates, except maybe Obama). Also discussing politics and religion now will make this long blog even longer (maybe around 20 full size sheets). I just want to ask the teens in America, 'what is wrong with you?' If you think that having a girlfriend and 'falling in love' at 16 is all there is to life, as a person who has lived just 6 more years than you, I can tell you there is much more! Love and romance and family is so overrated and depicted in movies and TV that people are taking it way too seriously! Love hasn't and will probably never 'happen' to me (I am too cynical and misanthropic for that crock of shit!). And I am glad about that. There's many many other great things and emotions. You will want to experience and enjoy  them while you are still young. Why would you want to be tied up with a child and its responsibilities? And if you truly care about your offspring, why would you let him live his formative years in a situation, where his parents themselves are still are figuring out their own lives and future? Act like teenagers do in most other places. Figure out your own life first before bringing another life into the world and accepting the responsibility to raise it!

Humor, Cars and Oversensitivity

     Most people who have any sort of interest in cars will have watched Top Gear. I have been following it since the past few years, and have realized that the previous sentence is actually quite meaningless. Because although technically its a motoring show, and does require you to have some appreciation and knowledge of cars, many episodes are actually more comedy than car. There have been and still continue to be some incredibly hilarious moments which will have you in splits. These often have little to do with cars and over the years have taken precedence over actual straight-faced reviews weighing the pros and cons of an automobile. And I for one don't mind at all. I barely watch Top Gear to know which car is good and which is bad, and even if I did, I am not in a position where I'll buy cars because Clarkson liked them. If I actually need an unbiased opinion about a car, I'll read Motortrend. Or wikipedia. The point of watching the show is now mostly to get some good laughs and see some great road trips.
     As with any comedy, people don't take kindly to being joked about. Jeremy Clarkson has been criticized numerous times about being racially insensitive, 'crass' and downright offensive. I completely agree. And thats what makes the show so funny. Generally, when he quite directly calls Americans stupid (who outside of America doesn't right?) or calls ginger people nasty or says a Mexican built car will be feckless, flatulent and lazy like its people, I used to think I find it funny because I am not really (born) American or ginger or Mexican. But it seems this is not the case. In December 2011, the guys went to India for a special. Here's what the media said:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2088297/BBC-refuses-apologise-tasteless-Top-Gear-India-special.html
Now I think I can speak knowledgeably in this case because I am Indian and I have watched all episodes of Top Gear (new format). Clarkson's humor has been time and again proven to be at others' expense. As I said before, the offensiveness is what makes it funny. The damn Indian High Commission or whatever, really needs to get a sense of humor. I agree with the BBC:

The BBC insists the jokes were at the expense of Clarkson and his fellow presenters, James May and Richard Hammond, rather than India or its people. 

It said in a statement: 'Our film showed the charm, the beauty, the wealth, the poverty and the idiosyncrasies of India, but there's a vast difference between showing a country, warts and all, and insulting it.

If you actually watch the episode, you will see that this is true. I don't see how Clarkson talking to the locals in his boxers could be offensive to Indian culture. I mean get your balls out of the knot! If we respected all your sensitivities, we would have a really unfunny world. Like Indian movies don't have people taking their pants off! And if foreigners get the runs when they come to India, the jokes on them isn't it? What exactly do these people not get offended by? And even if it was poking fun at Indians, so what? Learn to laugh at yourself for once! Saying that India has poverty and disease rampant is not offensive, its a fact. Maybe if your country was actually doing really great, and outsiders still said those things then you had a right to be offended!
     I was once watching a youtube interview of Kunal Nayyar (the Indian actor who plays Raj in The Big Bang Theory) and I saw comments saying, 'how can he say that India has cows and monkeys on the streets?'. Well? Doesn't it? I don't know where the hell this guy lives but where I lived there were buffaloes on the street all the time! This oversensitiveness is what prevents these guys from enjoying really good jokes. And come on, Indians are secretly the most racist people in the world! I know how racist I can be! I just don't take it seriously and don't discriminate based on it. But when somebody makes a joke about you, you get all bent out of shape about it? Next someone will get upset because Americans find our food spicy! I know that's because they have the taste buds of a cow which finds grass tasty! These people have mashed potatoes and broccoli for dinner; what do you expect will happen when they eat food with ground up chili in it? People of India, learn to laugh a bit and know that there's always a way to turn the insult around on someone.

How I Met Forensic Anthropology :)

     A friend of mine recently posted a link on my Facetube page regarding this crash course certifying one as a 'forensic consultant' and supposedly qualifying one to appear as an expert witness; an 'honor' generally granted to actual (degree holding) scientists specializing in ballistics, forensic anthropology, DNA fingerprinting, etc. I am quite sure everyone is familiar with forensic science (thanks to CSI, Bones, Dexter, and numerous other crime dramas). And yes, I also watch the aforementioned shows, except CSI (I can't really think of a reason why, I just don't). I follow Bones and Dexter very closely and I really like Dexter, although that love has waned since the 5th and 6th season. But I still admire the shows style and construction.
     I take great pride in the fact that unlike most people I did not first get introduced to these shows through television. The privilege was denied to me after my father noticed I spent too much time watching Cartoon Network as a child and he unsubscribed to cable TV. Now basic television in America is orders of magnitude superior to basic TV in India. In India, the only channel really free is Doordarshan, a government run network, which has programming that is probably one of the reasons for all the crying and miserable children in the rural parts of India (right after poverty, starvation, disease and corruption). Finally abandoning trying to view their dismal attempts at creating educational and entertainment shows, I gave up watching TV and occasionally entertained myself with the couple of VHS tapes of Tom and Jerry cartoons my dad had recorded some long time ago (I still love those despite the fact that I now realize how blatantly racist some of them are, but hey Top Gear is racist too and not too many thousands of people complain about that).
     Anyways, so when I came to America, I discovered internet TV, starting with the Simpsons, but didn't really watch any other shows until I took this class on Forensic Anthropology in my second year here. There I heard about shows called Bones and CSI and Dexter. The point of the class was to actually show that these shows are quite inaccurate. Forensic evidence is not in fact collected, analyzed and confirmed in the span of a few days, and the city, even an American city does not have the funds to hire a dozen forensic specialists. Apparently the entire Los Angeles county has one forensic anthropologist in its employ (or I think she's the medical examiner or something). Anyways this forensic anthropologist or medical examiner is,unfortunately, also the one who teaches the advanced forensics course at ASU (which is why I have never seen it being offered in the past 2-3 years despite my persistent search). I am quite sure that badly decomposed or mutilated corpses don't show up on a daily basis as portrayed in TV shows, and cases, for the most part, are either open and shut or forever open (the latter is possibly quite frequent).
     However, to talk about what I mentioned in the first few lines of this post, I think that this "forensic crash course" is just another way of exploiting people's rising interest in this stuff because of TV. I took a 4 month, 200-level college course in forensic anthropology and I was simultaneously learning molecular biology and the very details of the genome. I am also learning osteology right now. And I learned the basics of forensic science, eg. how to distinguish a point blank gunshot wound from one fired at very close range and when a captive bolt gun has been used (a gunshot wound and a captive bolt gun wound can look similar but there's a sure sign to tell one from the other). Despite the fact that I can thoroughly impress someone who doesn't have much knowledge of this stuff, I am pretty certain that if I am taken to an actual crime scene, I would know as much as an officer on his first day on the job or perhaps even less. Maybe a person can learn all that in 1 day, but trust me he will not be anywhere close to an expert. Its just a fun thing you can do and give someone a wad of money for a pretty meaningless certificate.
     Nevertheless, forensic science is very interesting, if you are not repulsed by the thought of dissecting decomposing corpses (a body is decomposed almost to the bone in about 2 weeks after death and it starts just a few hours after death unlike the chicken you forgot on the counter the previous evening). There are 100s of species of flies/maggots that infest a body within a few days starting at a few hours. Bodies even explode in a few days if they freely decompose (you might remember this scene from Bones). Needless to say TV heavily censors crime scene depiction. If you are the kind of person who looks up real crime scene photos on the internet (well firstly, there's something probably very wrong with you), you know what I am talking about. I am very certain that about 90% of the audience of crime dramas would promptly vomit if they see an actual corpse (let alone the smell; that would probably make me nauseous too since I have never been granted that pleasure). The point is forensics sounds interesting but I certainly cannot believe that any person could qualify to work in it.

Understanding Evolution

     One of the reasons I recently changed my major to Anthropology is because of my love for the theory of...or rather the fact of Evolution. In America, there is tremendous debate over this for years. Whereas most of the scientific community has opted out of the debate and moved on to do their work based on evolution, leaving the imbeciles to stumble in their self-inflicted darkness by themselves, it is one of the things about the general American public I find unbelievably stupid. I mean there's several things that the rest of the world points out as dumb about Americans, but in my opinion this is by far the dumbest. The impractical piousness of Americans is responsible for the most part. I am not going to waste my time either, arguing as to why a 2000 year old book, written by people who thought rain was god's tears, cannot be considered an argument against evolution. I instead wish to write about how fascinating the idea of evolution is and more importantly why I see it a realistic view of several philosophical questions that people have. Most people think they have understood evolution and even accept it completely. But often I find that what you think is Darwinian evolution, is in fact the disproved theory of Lamarckian evolution.
      Most people think that evolution suggests that the first living beings slowly morphed into more modern beings because they used the 'adaptations' they developed to survive. That's a very simplistic explanation of it; probably one taught to school children because it is difficult for 12-13 year olds to grasp the concept. Also people often have a correct idea about evolution but never really realize the time period over which it took place and the number of tiny factors that affected it. People often find it hard to grasp evolution because they cannot imagine how a unicellular micro-organism could have eventually become the cornucopia of life forms we see today. I myself misunderstood evolution for a long time. I just thought of an easily understandable way to explain it.
     Penicillin was a wonder drug when Fleming discovered it in the 1920s. But today most pathogens are resistant to it. I think antibiotic resistance is a good proxy for the mechanism of evolution. Since it came out penicillin destroyed countless pathogens. This is comparable to natural selection albeit very slightly less catastrophic on the macro scale. On the gazillion bacteria that penicillin killed, a few were actually 'freak' bacteria that might have naturally died if they had not been subjected to penicillin. But the freaks survived because they used a different pathway for their life processes. Hence penicillin could not disrupt and kill them. E. coli reproduces by mitosis twice every hour. At this rate one freak bacteria could give rise to millions more in the course of a day or so. Now think about how it took penicillin almost half a century to start becoming noticeably ineffective. Thats how slow evolution is. When people argue that, "If humans evolved from apes how come we don't see a chimp giving birth to a human baby?"; its a clear indication that they don't know the first thing about evolution.
     I think some people's reticence about accepting evolution is that, it implies there is no point to life except survival and reproduction. Although that used to be the case, and for some people it still is the norm, thats where anthropology provides some comfort to the rest. When man first started flourishing, it was because of his deviation from his very basic instincts. Social groups, tribes, shared intentionality and innovation is what has gotten us where we are today. Chimps and dolphins are surprisingly smart. They even have some semblance of a social structure. But that innovative drive that is so strong in man is lacking. And that is it. We don't need ancient books to tell us how to live any more. We don't need to sit in temples or churches to find out the meaning and point of life. Its there in your mind. You just need to accept its there.

"Socialization"

     First off, I must acknowledge that I didn't post since a week (not that anyone's waiting). Something came up that will be detailed in another blog soon. But this blog is generic. Its based on my curiosity as an anthropology student about the whole idea of social interaction and socialization. I admit though I just got the idea from a quote I posted from The Big Bang Theory. I always wonder about that show though. I really found the older seasons somewhat relatable. Not that I am implying I am a genius of any kind (but you are free to think so if you wish :P). By the way, spell-check didn't know relatable was a word. It underlined it leading me to Google it to make sure. Although I rely a lot on spell-check (so much, that sometimes while writing by hand I expect my misspellings to be underlined automatically in red!), it feels good to teach spell-check a word. Hah!

     Anyways so coming back to Big Bang Theory, I think the older seasons were really brilliant and some dialogues really express the same concerns or doubts I sometimes have. This particular idea, I got from the pilot episode of the series. I put it as my Facetube status but here it is again:

Sheldon: Chat? But we dont chat! At least not offline.
Leonard: Its not difficult...you just listen to what she says, and then you say something appropriate in response.
Sheldon: (pauses)...to what end?

     I feel like Sheldon has questioned the very basis of social interaction here. I don't know if the writers of the show intended it or merely were trying to write something consistent with what the character would say, but that is a big question. To what end is social interaction? In my archaeology class I learned how humans have managed such a large leap from animals on the basis of verbal and written communication. Its a fascinating thing if you think about it. Of course, we also touched on the subject that other animals like dolphins have their language. Of course, this fact is based on humans studying their 'language' and deeming it so. I think I disagree. Dolphins, or any other animals for that matter, communicate but they don't really have a language. I mean it certainly nowhere close to the complexity of human language. This is all fine, I can go on blabbering about how human language is so much more advanced. But you all probably know that stuff.

     What I want to write about is where communication stands today. And to go back to Sheldon's question, to what purpose is it today? Aren't we a paradox today? We are basically programmed as social animals and most of us will probably go into deep depression without social contact. But then again the enormous advent of social networks proves that we don't actually want to interact in person. Yes, time, distance and busy lives are a major factor. Not to mention via social networks we can interact with so people who we may never have met. But then again, besides those reasons, having several more friends online doesn't really satisfy any set purpose. Communication and social life evolved mainly because man was too weak to deal with the elements and predators all by himself. But today the bulk of socialization remains primarily as a relic of psychological evolution. We don't as much need to as we feel the need to interact. And so we go for the apparent most effective way. I think that is proven by the fact that everyone around will be so busy in social networking via their smart phone even while standing in a crowded room, unresponsive to actual interaction from people standing right in front of them. Of course, I am exaggerating albeit not too much.

     The other end of the scale in context is people are unresponsive to actual social interaction because of personal music players. I admit, I can barely go without my iPod especially when cycling to college. But I have a habit of unplugging my headphones even if I see someone I know, or if I even barely anticipate a conversation. I haven't seen people do it as readily as I do. Often they'd rather keep listening and ignore someone trying to ask them something. I find that insufferable!

     And since we are on one of the hundreds of things I find insufferable, let me end with one more on the list. But first I should admit I am not really knowledgeable on the entire concept of twitter. Although I understand it enough to decide I hate it (hey I barely know anything about facebook but I check it everyday while simultaneously hating it). The idea of broadcasting one's daily activities and one posting drab details of one's perfectly normal life, I think is an enormously dumb idea. I should point out that my blog is not the same thing (disclaimer alert); although some personal references are unavoidable, I try to make this blog an intellectual discussion (well as much as I can). Same thing with some videoblogs on Youbook (:P). I found out some time ago that there's something called a 'haul video'. Apparently that's some random girl with too much time and money on her hands, showing off the useless overpriced shit she just bought! I mean seriously? You are so dying to show off your things to other people that just showing them off to your million like-minded friends is not enough and you have to share it with the internets? And that includes girl's generic vlogs. The girls do realize that if their vlog is popular people are not really listening to you speak right? I saw a bunch of such vlogs on Youtube (I mean Youbook). Comments include, "I like to just mute the video and look at your breasts!" C'mon! Although I should say browsing through youtube comments is hilarious! As my parting note, I suggest you do that just to see the number of dumb people in the world!
Later.

Animal Loving Hippies aka Peta

Some people might know my eternal hatred for PETA (People for Exaggeratedly Elite Treatment of Animals), and the way they attempt to disrupt the lives of normal people. I am sure everyone to some degree dislikes Peta's actions at some point or another. Even I generally wont be pissed if they keep their hippie protests and black paint splashing limited to Japanese Whalers or stuff (do they actually go there? because that sounds like something that actually matters). What really makes me go "palm in face" is when they show up in places on the interweb like so: (see the comments)
http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/photo-of-the-day/sled-dogs-hoffmann/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ng%2Fphotography%2Fphoto-of-the-day+%28National+Geographic+Photo+of+the+Day%29&utm_content=Google+International

I respect that you have your damn opinions (who doesnt?), but dont spoil people's moods! I was trying to enjoy the furry and happy dog's picture and this damn hippie comes in and spams me with his/her website. Nevertheless they are probably just raising awareness for their stupid cause. What I hate is they just assume that the only way animals are ever happy is if they are free in the wild and live long lives! Wrong wrong very wrong! In the case of dogs, they have practically co-evolved with humans. In fact, humans have affected their evolution so much that they probably exist as they do today, due to humans. All of us know this right? In the wild they dont live a quarter of what they do in captivity. Besides their death is often brutal and certainly more painful than what humans might cause.

Speaking of humans killing animals, I can understand when Peta protests fur. With all the artificial materials available today, who needs actual fur? And I am all for the actresses/models going nude for that (Yes Eva Mendes, I would also prefer it if you went naked rather than wearing fur, or cotton, or nylon...). But I dont understand when they promote being vegetarian or worse, vegan. Being from India, I know well how vegetarianism is good and economical. But the concept of 'vegan' is the most fake and ostentatious thing I have ever heard! What I find even more annoying is that some people think Indians are vegan! Do they have any idea how many kinds of milk products and foods we have in India? I love The Simpsons and I can accept some bloopers they have while portraying Apu (eg. he has a masters degree in something and he is working at a convenience store?). But when they portrayed him as vegan, I was like "That is so wrong! You dont know anything about Indians do you?".

But my opinions aside, biologically speaking, humans are more suitable to be meat eaters. Early humans were scavengers but once the stone tool industries took off and man developed advanced weapons, he was the apex predator. If we primarily ate plants, our dental anatomy would be much different. Rearing animals for food started when man was still living in caves. This just shows that how illogical the concept of veganism is. Your going against evolution (thats my way of saying 'your going against god').

All said and done, I bear no ill will against vegetarians (maybe a little ill will against vegans because I find that so pretentious and condescending). I just prefer that they eat or not eat whatever they feel ok or not ok. Just dont impose your views on us who think some animals are quite tasty (mmm..steak...*slurp*). If they think that all people who eat meat and wear leather are uneducated rednecks (and thats what they seem to think); bitch please!

02022012

I found this on my computer while looking for things to delete (because my computer is full of crap movies and games). I wrote it sometime back as sort of a diary entry (as you can see almost a couple months back). Anyways enjoy!

February 2^nd 2012

Real busy day today but sometime in the middle of the day I felt I should get back to writing today. Cant explain why today of all days. But I have never been one for dates and schedules as much as I wish and try I could change that facet of my personality. Don’t get me wrong I can quite humbly say that I am a unique person in my own way and have several things much better in some ways. I used to have great imagination too but TV, video games and to a lesser extent 'weekend fun times' killed it. But I still maintain that I have a good ability to express my thoughts through writing despite my poor reading record. I also pride myself in being pedantic and anal about spelling grammar and pronunciation (I had just misspelled pronunciation but thanks to auto-correct that wont be thrown in my face). 


I always find that writers take too long to get to the point in novels (kind of like most Pink Floyd songs); read short stories then you’ll say. Yeah I’ll get to that…some time. Guess that’s my generation for you. TV shows and movies are just so easy to watch and now they are free too unlike previously; thanks to the internet and piratebay.org. Who’s gonna take the effort to read. If you do decide to go ‘non-visual’ (aww! Now we need to use our imagination instead of seeing pictures!) then you got your audiobooks read out to you! What do you expect? People aren’t going to read anymore now are they? My most extensive reading probably goes as far as reading, or rather scanning, Wikipedia entries, mostly about cars.

            Anyways to get to the point (see if I was a novelist I could have, and would have been expected to, ramble on for pages about irrelevant crap about my character’s or my own life), I planned to get up today at 4am to study for my archeology exam. I had slept at about 10pm so it seemed like a possible feat. Obviously I arose yawning at 7.30am having shut of the alarm like 3 times in the past couple hours. I did go over a little material but that didn’t help me much. My 9am class is a bitch. It’s like mini stats and introduction to computer programs like excel and something called maple. I am already taking the ‘big boy’ stats 465 so this just seems derivative for the most part. I should clarify that you shouldn’t ask me about real complicated stats because this is ASM 465. So, its anthropologically relevant stats. Then was my osteology class. That class is interesting Dr. Schwartz is interesting and funny and not to mention I really like bones (yes the TV show and the real deal both). The TA treats me like a ‘special’ kid though; you know like learning disability kind of special. The way everyone treats one of my friends who has the perpetual expression of a lost child.

            I generally head home for lunch and a Simpsons rerun after my osteo class but I didn’t do that today. I studied up a bit for my Archeology exam. Then was my stats class where I sat next to this girl I see in pretty much all my classes (just like several other people from my osteo class). I think it’s a limited choice for most people in anthropology. They just have these limited number of classes to choose from each semester. Anyways so I was talking to this girl about the quiz in stats class; because you know I had some questions about the quiz and not because she is cute and I’m desperate. But then I asked her, “ Aren’t you in my Osteology class and lab too?” “Yeah, I remember you from the lab. You always come in late.” (In my defence I used to go like 3 or minutes late just as people were settling down in their seats)Ah, dammit! The Lazy Late Larry image. I have struggled to clean that off my record all my life. From teachers in school and tuition class (those are very popular and cheap in India because people don’t really ‘learn’ in school. Everything is in tuition classes.) and among friends. I have this ability to be late even if I am ready to leave well before the event starts. I just make it happen. I don’t know how and why. I tried saving my image by telling her how I wish people wouldn’t remember me that way but then again if I was a speaker I wouldn’t be writing this shit would I? I would speak it in a vlog in a deep, pleasing, girl-charming British accent. I know already that my tomb stone will bear the words,” Son, Brother…Friend and known to all as ‘always late to class’”. Guess that was the moment I decided that I want to write again and try to get it out there that I am actually a person with things to say and opinions that have been given much thought. That plus the fact that writing is one thing I can actually do naturally well. Maybe not well but decent. At least better than some famous ‘writers’ out there.

Knights and Damsels

Did you read in the news recently about the man behind Kony 2012 losing his mind? Apparently he was running around the streets naked after suffering 'a mental breakdown'. Some comedian Patton Oswalt (no idea who he is, but his comment was hilarious) reportedly said, “In Jason Russell's defense, who DOESN'T celebrate a video going viral by jerking off in public?”.
Anyways just bringing that up for lulz. But this 'jerking off in public' incident reminds me of another incident that took place at my apartment complex a couple years ago. It was the weekend, and as usual a bunch of us were at my apartment for dinner and drinks. I was near the entrance of my apartment, when I heard a high pitched squeal. For a moment, I thought one of the guys had had a strong drink and were letting out their exhilaration. I was about to tell them to knock it off because it was nerve wrenching when someone thudded on the door like they had wolves behind them. I calmly opened the door to see a girl scared out of her wits rattling on about a guy in her patio. Generally this would be a scene from a movie (horror or comedy or 'something else') when a beautiful young girl arrives at the door of an apartment where there's a bunch of (drunk) guys ready to rescue the damsel in distress. Although the knight to damsel ratio was a little iffy here, it looked pretty good in the slightly inebriated minds of the 'knights'.
So we all got up and went to her apartment while she called 911. The place looked pretty uneventful. Her story was that apparently some man with dark skin (read black guy) was in her patio and 'touching himself' while looking at her. As usual my friend Prad came up with the most inappropriate things to say like, "... shouldn't you take that as a compliment?" Nevertheless all of us bravely stood around to prevent any further incidents (abiding strictly to the Code of Chivalry). Meanwhile another friend of mine, who is black, arrived at a very wrong time which is about the same time one would think it would take someone to run from someone's patio and come round the front. Obviously this led to more inappropriate jokes like Prad asking him if he was in anyone's patio recently.
We still held our ground waiting to provide any support needed to the damsel. This resolute stand was abruptly ended when the damsel's boyfriend arrived and the knights slinked away back to their apartment.
Moral of the story: Damsels in distress and knights fighting dragons are not only an exaggerated analogy which only exists in fairy tales, but if you think its happening to you, don't get your hopes up about impressing the damsel, because the unicorn called the boyfriend is always waiting to come in and you will be left completely in the sidelines with not even so much as a thank you or a smile of acknowledgment. So don't waste your time; just amuse yourself by making jokes like Prad does.

Bugged!

Yay! Spring break begins!
I had all my exams this week and as much as I would like to make up for a few hours of lost sleep, I am currently afraid of sitting or sleeping on any bed, futon or chair in my house except for my desk chair. Yes, we got a bad bedbug infestation sometime early last week. Its horrible and every time we get bedbugs I think of novel ways I could circumvent it from happening again. Last time I threw away my mattress, which I loved so much, and vowed never to get a mattress (also partly because I realized that most new mattresses cost an arm and a leg for a student's budget). So feeling quite happy about sleeping on a couple sleeping bags and a comforter I thought I wouldn't encounter the vile creatures ever again. Now that it has happened again I am contemplating buying a hammock and suspending it inside the house (I don't know how). There's some other plans like putting planks across two chairs. Of course these hare brained schemes are my version of counting sheep.
Of course I searched the internets. I found a number of sites claiming 'miracle', cost-effective methods to 'permanently get rid of bed bugs, fleas, etc.'. However these cost effective methods always involve buying an e-book or subscription or one lady who was an 'eco-mentalist' (as Jeremy Clarkson calls them) and hence wanted to use only 'natural' methods to eliminate the pests. Its exasperating. The only consolation I got from my search was that "remember, the bed bug infestation isn't your fault. You just picked them up from somewhere...blah blah blah".
Alright enough about bed bugses, Now that Spring break is here I am planning a road trip. Feels like ages since I've hit the Interstate and driven for hours in my car. Last couple road trips I made, one to Las Vegas and one to San Diego were in someone else's car with that particular someone else driving most of the time. So I am really excited about this one. I really do love driving in the US, more particularly Arizona. As much as I would love to ride a motorrad down the Pacific Coast Highway in LA, the rest of LA is pretty crowded compared to AZ. I hate the roads in Las Vegas. Not because of the crowd (I mean if you expect Vegas to have open roads, you must be living in the Matrix or rather the matrix simulator that Morpheus uses at the start to train Neo). Anyways the reason I hate Vegas roads are because they dont have lines marking lanes. They have stupid bumpy plastic reflectors. The kind they put ON painted lines to reflect light but in Vegas there's no lines. I don't understand their logic. It the the city of freakin' lights (well officially, its supposed to be Paris or something but you get my point)! You think that tiny bump is gonna be visible when you have a billion blinking lights? I always end up driving between lanes or almost going on the wrong side.
Arizona has beautiful open roads and except for the occasional old white guy trying to roll his SUV on you (long story) its generally a pleasure to drive here.
This post is a little stale because it was stuck in "development hell" for a few days. I didnt feel it was ready to be published, but what the hell I am putting it out there. I'll put up another 'fresher' post soon enough.
The_Radioactive

Criticism of Criticism Part 1

I got the idea for this post from my own decision to not do reviews again. I wont delete that Big Bang Theory review but looking back I didnt really enjoy writing that. Plus when there's so many subjects that I can insult, I really shouldn't insult my blog by discussing TV episodes on it of all things. Also, criticism might not be my thing. And why that might be, is what gave me the idea for this post. Hence the name.

Since I have a bunch of exams this week I will drag this post onto a second part where I will write some after thoughts that I might have on the subject.

Anyways, so criticism probably started off as a well meaning thing and constructive thing. I am going to go off on a slight tangent here to create some strained humor. Maybe early hominids had critics for the stone tools they made. I have an archaeology exam tomorrow; for that our Professor/ TA put up a review sheet on which they have a couple 'stone tool industries' which my TA said was simply different styles of making tools. So imagine stone tool critics going around different villages giving out grades to different tool makers that will be published in the "Rock and Antler" magazine. Along with that some interesting articles like, "Retouch techniques: Keep your tools sharp for when that saber-toothed tiger comes knocking" and "Microliths: Multi purpose mini tools the new buzz word in the cave?"

Anyways to circle back to the topic of the post, most criticism might be still constructive. But some like movie criticism or music criticism (eg. what Grammy judges think they do) is just so relative. For example, I am someone who goes to the movies to see things blow up and bad guys being shot in slow motion. I dont care if Roger Ebert gave some new Vin Diesel movie zero stars, if there's explosions and jaw breaking punches in it, I go see it. And again I dont go to the movies to feel sad, I go to be entertained and see something which doesnt happen in front of me everyday. I mean come on, everyone above 16 feels he or she has been in love and then gotten his or her heart broken and then "they lived one day at a time while they came to terms with the tragedy". There's been a billion movies and songs about it and yeah I weep for you because you live with the illusion that your life is so dramatic. If I see that in the movies too, I'll choke fatally on my popcorn. So my point is what is the basis for the judgement and criticism? Fortunately there's more reviews for a movie than the number of cast and crew for the movie itself, so I generally get a gist of whether or not a movie should be to my liking.

So to quote from one of my favorite animated movies which, ironically, isnt an action movie, "In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so."

About concerts, electronic music and other strong opinions...

First off thanks to my friend Akshat for helping me get the idea for today's post from his Facetube status. The status message was about the cost of going to a David Guetta... (I am hoping I spelled that right and I don't care enough to look it up, which would take about as much time as its taking me to type all this and render the question moot). Anyways the cost of going to a DJ's concert was the topic of status. I agree with him that 2000 Rs. is a large amount for watching a guy stand at what is basically a fancy computer and program thumping repetitive sounds out of it. And by all means if you enjoy trance or house or whatever it is that he makes, go for it. I just feel that the amount of fame these guys get, be it deadmau5 or armin van buren or avici (?) or whoever will be tomorrow's 'happening' artist (do artists happen? or are they just in?), is unfair.

I consider myself a pretty old school guy. I enjoy music that mostly people several times my age and with balding hair and thin white ponytails enjoy. But besides some of the music I am in no way a hippie. I dont care about buying more expensive fruits because they were grown in pig poop instead of chemical fertilizers, or about driving hybrids because they 'save the earth'. Face it, they dont. They just give you a better gas economy because they have a ton of Chinese batteries in them which when disposed off damage your beloved earth way more than my 15 year old Honda ever will.

But anyways today's topic is not about why I hate the Prius, and hippies, and conservative Republicans and many other things. No, thats for another time. Today's topic is about why people who program repetitive bass sounds are so much more famous than people who actually have the skill to make beautiful sounds from strings, percussion membranes and  their own voices. I get it that people dont want to understand too much about music, they just want a steady bass drone to ring in the background while they go about their day and then later lose their senses to ethanol while gyrating against someone of the opposite sex (or same sex; hey I mean whatever makes you happy, right?). Personally, I feel that when skill, poetry and hard work is put into music, it gives it a deeper meaning. Songs about things other than teen 'love' and women's sexual parts require so much more work. Writing lyrics with more than a couple syllables is even harder. So why dont the majority of people enjoy that?

I think thats because most people have a different place for music in their minds. They dont want to search something that is not featured on Vevo or iTunes. They can just listen to something that the major recording corporations have recommended because it is so much more accessible. Plus old music is from the past; who wants to listen to something which is original and was a great experiment in sound fusion? Remember the Die Hard 4.0 scene when Justin Long questions Bruce Willis why old songs are called 'classic' rock? Thats because those people made music with a lot of thought and creativity (also a variety of psychedelic and hallucinogenic drugs but that doesnt help my argument much).
You can justify modern pop music as much as you want, but it doesnt overcome the fact that its often just so shallow and two-dimensional.

TBBT review

This is a short review for yesterday's episode of The Big Bang Theory. I will post a review of the new episode  of The Finder later in the evening, although I bet very few people watch that show and I dont think too many have liked it. But I like it a lot and hence the review is aimed at trying to get you to watch the series :D

Anyways, so first off I am going to say that recently the quality of the episodes has been dropping. Every character is slowly changing into a normal person from the previous quirky personalities that made the show so unique and probably caused so many people to relate to it. That being said yesterdays episode was a great improvement and I thought it was pretty brilliant. OK from this point on there may be spoilers, so SPOILER ALERT if you haven't watched it yet. Instead you can skip to the next paragraph where I actually review the general status of the series.

The guys decide to play the Star Wars online game (I am assuming its an MMORPG like Warcraft but much less popular) for 48 hours continuously over the weekend. When they reveal the plan to Sheldon he is of course extremely excited forgetting that he promised Amy to go with her to some old woman's (her great aunt or someone) 93rd birthday party. When Amy asks him that he should honor his word and the 'Relationship Agreement' he tries to brush it off and indirectly says that the agreement is basically to let him have his way. One of the really recurring funny jokes was the whip sound app that Howard uses when Sheldon has to listen to Amy and decides to go with her to the birthday. Of course finally he doesnt go with her and ends up playing with the guys. Each of the three informs their respective partners about the plan leading to some funny situations. Bernadette asks Howard if she can play with them and obviously he accepts much to the disappointment of everyone else, which results in Sheldon using the whip sound app and laughing at Howard in his classic way. Anyways so it all works out, Amy gets upset and tries to 'make a scene' but instead Raj makes one when the three girls refuse to leave the boy's alone.

As I said before all the guys have become almost normal now. Sheldon's quirks and characteristic "Asperger Syndrome" behavior continues to be funny. This episode I actually liked the three girls. I had started to hate Penny around the end of the 2nd season and in the 4th season the hatred became even stronger; I hate it when female leads are made promiscuous. I feel it kills the attraction the audience might feel towards the character for being you know 'hard to get'. I mean Penny was hard to get for Leonard but it felt like she went out with random men to just to create humor for the show by making Leonard sad. And it ended up making the character a slut in my opinion. Anyways that's just me. I think I like Bernadette way better than the other two. In this episode she's even cuter.

I also take offense to how the shows producers keep making Raj more and more feminine. I feel like Indians in the US already have several stereotypes to fight and if one of the major Indian characters on American television is so freaking gay; well that's just unfair man! Although there are times when he suddenly becomes normal. But in the majority of episodes, including this one, he is just so gay. I dont understand the purpose. To quote Leonard,"...pick up a Y chromosome while you were there? You might be short one."

Anyways in conclusion, this episode was great and with the current state of the series maybe they should make more like this one.

Bad Jokes and other stories...

After having received some encouraging feedback from yesterday, I have decided to keep posting regularly for at least the immediate future (Yay! like anyone cares!). But anyways I am doing this more for myself. Plus since when with friends its always been hard for me to get too many words into the conversation, this way I can at least get it out there somewhere for whoever wishes to read.

There are several topics I want to talk about but I am going to procrastinate on that for a bit, since I am really tired today. But for now let me put a small list of things to I wish to write about:
Soap Operas
Reality Shows
Either or both of the above
In the same vein, WTF is a socialite exactly? I mean I know what the word means but its like documenting the life of a single sloth because it calls itself an 'arboreal external surface maintenance manager'! Its a sloth...just doing what it enjoys most; no one cares. What do they do for a living and why do people want to know about them so much? Frankly I would rather watch a Nat Geo special about sloths.
Uh...let me stop here. This is for another time when I have more sarcastic microliths at my ready disposal. To explain why this isnt a good time to go into a rant I'll tell you that I spent about 30 minutes thinking about and improving that sloth analogy and its not even that good; its probably terrible. So no, I dont want to waste a good target with substandard material.

By the way, a microlith (you probably looked this up on wikipedia already but here goes) is a small stone tool which on its own cannot be used but a bunch of microliths can be put together to form a customized tool for the task at hand. Isnt that just so cool?! Its like a little Transformer tool robot in your hand. Except that when you find microliths in the cave you dont find a female hominid around with absolutely no connection to the context (read Megan Fox). Oh god another terrible one.

I was gonna add to the list I started but I might be tempted to go into a psychotic opinionated rant again and crack more terrible jokes. I'll spare you the torture. I might review a movie this weekend if I go. Also if I feel up to it, I will write about/ review the new Big Bang Theory episode tonight or maybe tomorrow. And yeah I like the show 'The Finder' so that too. For those of you who haven't heard about it, its a spin off of Bones (please tell me you have heard of Bones). That's pretty much it for now.
Later,
The_Radioactive
PS: Be prepared for several anthropological and archaeological terms and references because I like learning that and like even more to show that knowledge to sound very academic and learned!

What I learned from the latest viral video....

All right so I have been meaning to start writing a blog for some time now and today I finally felt up to it. Today's 'ramblings' are going to be about political/social hype going on right now. But I can assure you that will not be a recurring trend in my blog. Most will be random funny (or at least attempted funny) shizz. Mostly I will write about my feelings regarding new (at least for me) rock/metal songs, movies and yeah the few TV shows that I follow and try to be humorous in the process. So, disclaimer alert; this is for the most part not a serious blog. Its just some guy who thinks he can write well 'rambling on' about everyday stuff. Also I am really computer 'unsavvy' so the blog will not be very fancy and customized to look visually appealing. I apologize about the aforementioned and am open to suggestions on how to make it more 'blingy'. The views expressed will most often be ill researched and anyone is free to correct me and vehemently disagree with me and debate accordingly (I sincerely love debating but strictly online).

Anyways so getting to today's topic of ramble. Its a viral video that I bet all of you have seen by now and are probably still very charged about. Hey I am too. I am not gonna put up a link because the video is too easy to find and I do not wish to be one of those helping the video becoming a global pandemic; if it isn't that already. Its called Kony 2012; look it up on 'Facetube' (to quote James May). But anyways, being the troll bait that I am, I clicked on some spam-marked comments/links under the video. But this time it surprisingly didn't end in a rick-roll. One video led to another and finally I Googled around a bit and came to the conclusion that Kony, as terrible as he is, is not really capable of doing anything any more. The second link I will post at the end of this blog says that he is probably in a forest in Congo, "sick , starving and on his last legs". And this was written 5 years ago. I am not going to repeat what they have said for you can read it yourself. There are many more issues about the video, the people making it and the people who are labelled as 'good guys' in it. But I will leave it to you to find that out yourselves (DIY lazyass!). My point is when something goes viral and celebrities endorse it, we rush to donate and protest on the streets (This applies to people in America for people in India have other stuff to worry about). But maybe when you see something (especially on the 'internets') don't just believe and commit to it right away. Google around, look for a context read some opinions and criticisms. I am not being condescending here; I just realized this myself. Seriously, I was almost completely convinced to head down on April whatever (the video gives some date) 2012 on a Friday night and put up posters, but then I read some more from other sources and it got me thinking again. Now, I am just using this video as an example. Whatever little I say about my stand on the Kony 2012 campaign or about what should be done about him is not the point of this blog. I certainly DO NOT have any sympathies for Kony (I feel Seal team 6 should get him like they got Osama). I definitely feel he should be brought to justice (read: killed brutally). But forget all that. What I am saying is before you make up your mind about an issue, do some research. There's going to be many sides to it; know about them.

OK. Having thoroughly patronized the handful people who might read this, I will sign off. As I said before my first few blog entries will be themed 'confused' because I don't know yet what I can talk about best. But I do know that it will most likely be really light stuff. This may very well be my last slightly serious ramble.
Suggestions are welcome; no, required for those reading this and the feedback is highly appreciated. In the rare instance that you feel this has the potential to be a nice blog please spread the word.
Thanks.
The_Radioactive
PS: suggestions saying, "please find a lamer pseudonym than Radioactive." will be read but ignored. I feel this is as lame as it can be!
Oh and as promised here's the links:
http://ilto.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/the-visible-problem-with-invisible-children/
http://thedailywh.at/2012/03/07/on-kony-2012-2/